Back To My Old Ways

Caught between
change and
my toxic ways,
Persuading my brain
that the pain
will bring change
but was it for the better?
I wonder if it was
worth the effort..
Maybe the sacrfice
didn’t measure
with the life that I wanted
So instead I’m caught up
with the empty promises
and life has a funny
way of showing you
dead leaves and broken bottles.
I guess I over-bottled
and the feelings
couldn’t handle
the pressure.
Caught between the pressure
to keep going
but my toxic ways
keeps persuading my brain
that the pain
will bring change
but was it for the better?
Was it worth the effort?
©AKD
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No Closure

Don’t hold on

to your worst parts.
Sometimes reality
hits when you realize
they’re gone,
You’re staying strong
for the sake of not moving on
You’re like a dark cloud in
night time,
Pouring down with memories
of bad times,
you want the good, but they’re gone..
And now, you’re gone.
But what’s wrong with
moving on?
Don’t hold on
to your goodbye’s
Night time is transition to
sunrise
You’re staying strong
for the sake of not moving on
Reality hits when you realize
they’re gone.
Move on.
©AKD

Indifferent

Feelings was mutual,
I guess this is
how we’re ending the usual.
It’s unusual that I’m
caught up with my head,
and my heart walking straight
to the exit.
I didn’t mean for the indifference
but what was mission?
What was I missing?
Maybe I’m tripping
by tripping on feelings..

I guess this is indifference..
I realize I wasn’t in this
in full commitment.

Feelings was mutual
I guess, this is
how we’re ending the usual.
It’s unusual that I’m caught up
with my head,
and my heart walking straight to the exit..
but I got the message.

©AKD

 

Disappointed

I will love you
through the bad news.
I know that your mother died
and your colors turned
black and blue,
Down to the real you.
I can love someone with
broken tunes,
I thought I would show myself
to you.
By then you’ll be a disappointed fool.
“I trusted you”
Trust is like taboo
I never loved you,
I never cared for your bad news.
I know that your mother died
I know at the time, I was all that you needed to confide,
But, this is new
“For better or for worse right?”
That was the “fight” or “flight”
“For rich or for poor..”
I was losing my mind
By then you’ll be a disappointed fool
With colors turning black and blue.

©AKD

Red Rose

Forever blooming
with thorns,
closed-off
just like your walls
Red rose
don’t fall apart,
I will wait for you til spring time.
We will get through the snow,
We will get past the rain,
Red rose
so beautiful,
so cold..
Red rose,
I won’t let go,
We can get past the blood
Just know, I won’t let go,
Red rose
I will wait for you
til spring time.
Red rose.

©AKD

Beautiful Ruin

You left with
your walls crashing
down like the waves
you’ve made to drown me

There I saw things clearer,
and the intensity made us see
the bigger picture
That deep down we never
really knew love,

And maybe we let
the ice crack a bit sooner.
The memories
pulling me in deep ruins

But what we had was insane,
what we had was real,
it was mutual

It was the saddest story
it was beautiful..

©AKD

You can see through
broken mirrors and realize
the levels of your perceptions,
undressing the hidden messages
staring at you, in multiple faces.
While your fears can take your
mind in places beyond the silence
you try to break out of
The noises inside can manipulate
how you take on what’s in front of you
As you’re stuck between staying the same
and pushing through
Your consciousness can overtake its
misinterpretations
Penetrating, the silences
but, at the same
you’re caught in your fears
making relations on the “now”
Not realizing you’re only seeing through broken mirrors
Realizing you’re seeing an illusion..

©AKD